I knew you once
by W-IIV
Summary: Under the moonlight when a certain event passes, Chariot thinks of three things: her luminous green eyes, the lavender mess of hair and how they changed from friends, lovers to strangers. One shot-CharCroix (also Croix is here but I can't add her yet)


**This one shot was based around dodie's song _I knew you once,_ a song that I felt links well with Charcroix. The song lyrics will be there and will be in italics. Anyways enjoy!**

 **(Also for readers in the far future, this was written before we knew anything of Croix. )**

* * *

Chariot watches at Diana walks away, her words echoing in her head. Her eyes linger at the photo of herself when she was younger. How different did she look with her short vibrant red hair, the literal twinkle in her eye and the biggest grin she has ever seen. She remembers that day with fond memories, the excitement, the adrenaline rushing in her bloodstream. The bellowing words of encouragement that were the only thing that reached her ears and drove her forward.

Her eyes flicker to the corner and the curl of a smile on her lips tightened and became a small grimace. Her eyes became fixated on a familiar figure. They narrow at the photograph, the only living proof that she did exist and wasn't just a nightmare formed in her head to haunt her sleep. Chariot stared small petite frame and her neutral face, the lavender mess of a hair and her green eyes. Surprisingly, they were full of boredom and Chariot had to purge the amusement she found inside her as she lingered on those eyes. Boredom never suited those sharp green orbs. Often they glowed with something stern but soft, something to combat the mischievous sparks in her own eyes.

Chariot's eyes flicker with a range of emotions, from hurt and betrayal to soft longing and nostalgia. Soon the rapid thrashing of her heart within her couldn't take it anymore and she walked away in silence, the merit of the day gone and the tainted memories of the past days haunting her minds once more.

Chariot entered her room with a sigh, Alcor looked at her with narrow beady eyes as he caws at her, flapping his wings to perch on her shoulder when Chariot finds herself on her desk. Her navy blue hair grazed the wooden format, her head only held up by her cheeks resting on the knuckles of her hand. Her glasses were across the desk, thrown in a way to release some pent up emotions. Her eyes struggle to stay open in fear that when they close, even for a second, she would appear again with her amusing grin and the flicker of warmth in her perching green eyes. That the nostalgia would lull her into a trance of heartache she hasn't felt for many years.

In the end she gave way, her eyelids becoming so heavy that they had to close and in the darkness of her mind, she appeared.

 _I knew you once…._

They were children. Two girls where the only things they needed to worry about were the next day assignments and the patrols after curfew. Completely oblivious to the horrors of the future. Chariot looked at Croix, laughter in her eyes where her mouth failed to speak. In return Croix gave her a deadpan glare but in the darkness, Chariot could just see the hint of a smile on her lips, the small curl in the corner.

 _….And it was nice._

She can see the luminous glow of Croix's eyes narrowing and Chariot knew she needed to leave. Pushing her hat down to cover the short bundle of red vibrant hair Chariot charged into the opening, the smile growing wider at the sound of racing feet behind her.

The half covered vision of an open field transformed into the dark canvas of a night forest, brambles of what would be light brown and vibrant leaves melted into the many shades of black and grey. It's only when the Chariot could hear the her heavy breath and the snapping of twigs alone she stopped and looked behind her.

She was alone again.

Usually the thought would frighten her, not for being alone but for losing Croix. Now, Chariot couldn't feel frightened, she could never lose her. All she needed to do was spot the ever present glow of her green eyes and walk to her. Every time she would scare her, every time Croix would ask how she found her in the darkness and Chariot would always answer the same thing. "My light in the dark would always be clear when I need to find it." Red would flush her cheeks and Croix would stomp away, often to Chariot's own nightly giggles.

 _I knew your brain…_

Now Croix's reason to go on these nightly sprees was for research. She wanted to observe the animals the same way Chariot observes the stars. She wanted to see how they worked together like a family of mice or a group of owls. Always Chariot would know what animal she would want to see and observe.

Whenever Croix would pause and look, Chariot would observe her. She would stare at her body, standing regal and strong, the way her fingers curl against each other as she looks around, how her lips purse and tighten the same way her eyebrows furrow and the green eyes narrow into deep concentration.

Chariot knew not to speak when she's like this, she would break her train of thought and though Croix wouldn't act like it Chariot knows she would be grumpy under her stoic mask and a grumpy Croix is never a happy thing. When her eyes flicker to a tree or a fallen log Chariot would notice and look as well. The animal of her desires would pop out in her head and Chariot would try to coax it out of its hiding place.

"Croix?" She asked, a smug grin and a flicker of excitement in her eyes. "Is this the animal?"

Croix would turn to her, the green eyes would shine in surprise before they dim back into normalcy. "Why do I bother being surprised with you?" She sighs, a small smile on her face as she walks closer. Chariot's face would beam with pride as Croix would crouch next to her, a finger on her chin as she looks at the animal.

 _…And your heart…_

Chariot looked at Croix, her eyes soft with comfort as her hands brush against the scales of an adder snake. It would hiss at them, the words translating into common tongue in their minds and Croix would hiss back, adept at its language. They were leaning against a fallen log, the canvas of a starry night was their ceiling, a circle of distant trees was their walls. The snake's tail slithered on Chariot's lap but she didn't mind, she was too busy finding the stars, sometimes trying to find herself in them, except the stars she was trying to find weren't in the sky.

She focused on the soft glow of Croix's green eyes, pondering to herself how she could really find her in the darkness and why her eyes would always seem to glow in her vision. Not that it really mattered but she wonders if Croix would find a similar glint and glimmer whenever she looks at her eyes, the feeling creates this strange warmth that tickles her body, protecting her from the cold air around them.

It was nice to see Croix fully relax, it was a side that only seemed visible around her and with the adventures she pulls them through Chariot often treasures these quiet moments. Croix was a studious girl, often defying people with facts and science. To many traditionalist it irks them even more than her own ideas that magic was fun. It left Croix quiet and sullen when the rejection of her passion becomes too much for her to bear. In dark thoughts where nightmares roam free Chariot thinks of what would happen if she didn't find her in the corner of the library and became her friend but she won't think of those thoughts, not when she's so lost in those luminous green eyes.

 _….All your insides._

"Why are you staring at me like that?"  
Croix asked, breaking Chariot from her train of thoughts. Chariot's face flushed red and she pushed her hat down to head it as she turned her head to look at the sky.

"I was trying find a star but then I realised I had one right here." Chariot giggled as she leant back on Croix. Croix sighed mumbling something to the snake who slithered away. She didn't give a glance to Chariot as she moved herself a bit. Soon Chariot found herself resting on her lap, her eyes blinked owlishly, not knowing what to do. She looked up and saw the small tinge of red under her glasses and she knew it was fine to be in this position. So Chariot nestled in closer to her heart as it vibrates through her chest. It was racing faster than usual but somehow it gave her a semblance of peace.

 _Oh I could tell…_

Things were different, that's all Chariot really knew. She didn't know why, though she has a hunch, she didn't know when but she figured from the start, she didn't know where but that didn't bother her. She just knew something changed between her and Croix.

At first were the lingering looks between their tables, though that was normal between them as they had many conversations that their eyes only could say but Croix would turn away and it left something to stir in Chariot's chest. Next was the distance, Croix would stammer away to do a job she made up on the spot and it would leave Chariot aching with a hole in her chest.

Then came the contradictions, one day she would stare at her, the next Croix would forget her existence. One day Croix would be glued to her hip, the next she'll be as visible as her star in the northern hemisphere.

One day Chariot is content to be inches away from her, personal boundaries be damn with her hands clasped with hers then the next she just wishes to close the gap and kiss her right there and then. One day she's dreaming of both them travelling around the world with shows of science and magic and then suddenly time slows and she's kissing her in front of thousands before she wakes in mental agony that it wasn't reality.

 _… just with a look…_

Chariot didn't know what lead to this. Well she does, a sudden realisation of an exam that she didn't study for and Chariot needed Croix to help her focus. This lead to them being all alone in her dorm room with her team gone, specifically chosen, to help Professor Woodward. But she doesn't know when it lead to her blushing red with no hat to hide it, Croix's green eyes standing out well against the her own deep blush.

Except Chariot knows exactly when this happened, the conversation is in a constant repeat in her head, each round done makes her heart beat more faster:

"Look Char, you need to this." Croix sighed, the pen leaving her hands as she leans on the side of Chariot's bed.

"But Croixxxxx, I need motivation, help me be motivated." Chariot whines, moving closer to her like she normally does, her hands clasping her hers.

Croix stared at her, the rim of her glasses doesn't help to obscure the red tinge under her eyes. Her stare doesn't last long until she looks away. "Look Chariot-"

Chariot looks at her, a small puffy frown when she realises she isn't getting noticed. She leans closer, one hand on her Croix warm cheeks to turn her the right way. "Croixxxx give me a reward system or something, you know that always helps~"

This time Croix leans her head back, her eyes clenching as if she's in desperate pain. "Chariot please…"

This time, Chariot's eyes narrow as leans forward to close the gap to its regular distance. She ignores her banging chant in her heart, the yells of kiss her, the screams from her stomach butterflies that tell her to close the entire gap. "Croix…" she starts but never ends, Croix beating her words and the air in her lungs simultaneously.

"Chariot stop saying things that makes me want to kiss you!"

 _…What you were thinking…_

They were closer than ever before but so far away. The initial door is opened and they just need to take that step in it but it's always the first steps that are hardest to take. There is no silence, not one that Chariot would ever expect. She could hear the clock tick in the wall somewhere, she becomes acutely aware of Croix's own breathing as hers don't seem to exist. She was so close to her that if her brain wasn't so frazzled that maybe she could hear Croix's beating heart and compare it to her own constant thunderous heartbeats screams to kiss her.

"I…uh-" Croix stammers before her words fizzle and becomes white noise. Chariot doesn't care about what her mouth says, it's her eyes that matter. The saying eyes are the window of the soul works especially for Croix, many times before they say what her lips wouldn't allow. Now the green eyes don't shine with passion or a stern warning instead they waver in fear and panic. They're open wide but not with awe and wonder but like a deer in the headlights. Yet they also beg and plea for her to take the first step for they're too scared to do it alone.

"Shh…." Chariot hushes as her hands cups her cheeks. Croix is silent in an instant and Chariot looks at her eyes one more time for consent if anything else. They still waver but more out of excitement and anticipation than the original fear and worry and that's all Chariot needs before she leans in and kiss her.

 _…That's all it took._

The kiss was hesitant and slow and probably wasn't anything near what plays in Chariot's dreams. It was so much better then whatever she imagined. Chariot was the only one kissing for a while and she wondered whether to pull out but Croix pulled her weight and made it more deeper than what she originally expected it to be. Her eyes were closed to fully savour the way Croix's lips seemed to move with ease along hers and the taste of coffee they drank before to pull a late night.

When her brain wasn't focused on her lips, it catches the small hums that Chariot thought she would never hear leave Croix's lips, it would focus on the grip on her shoulders and the way Croix's hands would brush under her hair then tickle the nape of her neck.

Only then Chariot would pull out from the sudden flutter of tingles, giggles leaving her as her shoulders scrunch up. It wasn't the way she expected it to end, usually her dreams would leave her out of breath in and out of reality but somehow it fitted. Her giggles infected Croix and Chariot would laugh more at the steam built up on her frames. Chariot's hands would find themselves around her neck and when she pulls Croix closer it's their foreheads colliding not their lips. With the short distance between them their eyes would speak wonders to each other as their euphoric laughs fill the air.

 _You shared your secrets…_

She remembers that dark night, the tremble of her hands and they way her eyes panic before a mess of tears become rushing down her face. Chariot holds her still, her hands running random patterns on her back as Croix hiccups herself to her chest. Never before Chariot seen Croix in such a mess, the girl of control and confidence was gone and in her arms was a girl who was abandoned by the people she needed the most.

A slight pain sparks this hellfire in her heart. The red in her eyes intensifying as anger and hatred erupts in it. How dare her mother cast her aside because she likes the same sex. How dare she says those slurs and words in her letter, how dare she even use her late father in her tainted words. That man would've loved her regardless of who she loves, regardless whether he was dead or not.

Chariot wanted to go over there and punch her. She never really punched anyone before but she knew if she messed up the first swing, she'll keep going until the only thing messed up is face and not her twisted mindset.

 _….And I shared mine._

But Chariot knew where she needed to be, she knows whose mind she needs to turn and change again. Croix was a person to be loved and cherished forever, to be constantly reminded on why she was the star to wish on even when she can't find her at night.

So Chariot did was she did best. She tried to make her smile and laugh but not in any fashion. Her own family fashion. Chariot sang in french.

At first it was simple nursery rhymes sung with a small wave side to side, something small to catch and then distract Croix's attention from that half life hag. She grinned at Croix's surprised expression, how her mouth just opens wide and how her green eyes widen in awe and wonder that makes Chariot continue even more. It's only then it occurs to her that she never sang in french before to someone other than family nor even spoke french to Croix before.

That facts makes Chariot even more eager to sing more. This time it's love songs, small fragments that she only heard under her window as her parents sing confessions of love in the backyard as they dance and Twirl around each other.

 _Silence was comfy…_

When she looks down, Croix is resting on her chest, eyes closed in soft comfort. Chariot stares at her and her soft expression despite the tear stains on her cheeks and the red marks of crying around her eyes. Her last song whispers the ending as her swaying slows to a halt.

 _…Without having to try._

Chariot's hands find themselves playing her lavender hair, admiring how the long strands and how they tickle her fingers as she weaves in and out. With soft grumbles Croix opens an eye and Chariot's shoulders sag with relief at the happiness that twinkle in those green orbs. They look at each other once more, heartwarming messages sent two and fro from green to red. Chariot's heart swell at the blink Croix sends. Her eyes softens as she sends the words of I love you back to her. They kiss softly to reinforce the motion before they crawl back into their shared bed and sleep the rest of the night away.

 _We swapped our smiles._

They were older, way older from when they first began sleeping in bed together. At that time they slept with clothes on and their backs facing each other's and at a good distance from the other. This time they faced each other, distance being non existent and their clothes lay waste on the floor. It's only been months since Croix graduated, now they're in their shared cottage in the middle of the English countryside. They were a small walk to their nearest leyline and they were the furthest away from any bigot idiot on telling them the traditional ways of loving someone. Though they were never traditional in the first place, the constancy of their stupidity was growing tiresome.

Their mouths only hold smiles, their entire body flushed with red and their breathing is heavy but slowly going back into its normal pace. Once again their eyes are in a rapt discussion only they would know and understand. Occasionally, Chariot would move a twirl of lavender hair that was stuck to her girlfriend's flushed face who would hum in appreciation and sometimes Chariot would squeak when Croix's hands wander once more.

 _Gifted advice._

Now they're Croix's office, blueprints adorn the walls, blocks would be stacked in the corner. Croix would have a pencil resting on her ear, her green eyes staring in rapt concentration at her latest design. Chariot is near her of course, a sketchbook in her hand as she's curled up in the other spiny office chair. She's trying to design her outfit for the shows she'll put, something light and something fun that would spark wonder and awe into everyone's hearts, happiness would spread like a disease and magic would work once more with ease.

Yet Chariot finds herself distracted, how can she draw something for herself when there is living art in front of her. Her eyes flicker from her muse and the new page of her book. She starts with her face, giving great detail to her the narrowing green eyes from the side especially before she moves to her hair. It's a lot shorter from when they first met, it's not short as her buts it's getting there.

She draws her quick sketches of her body as her muse moves to face her. The smile behind her sketchbook grows as she eyes flicker from the page and Croix and immediately she gets it. Croix's face blushes red when she stumbles forward to get the drawing from her grasp. Chariot squeaks when her fingers run along her side before they erupt into ticklish laughter.

Still the grip on her book is tight and Croix laughs at her antics until suddenly their on the floor, Croix on top of her, the page still in Chariot's hands but it's outstretched and open for her to see.

Chariot grins at her, a kiss to tickle her cheeks but doesn't attempt to move. "Have you ever considered wearing white? I think it would look sexy on you, " She hisses seductively in her ear. Chariot's face burns red under Croix's predatory gaze until it hits her.

"Snakes!" She shouts, snapping the aura around them as Croix backs up, confused as ever.

"Eh?"

"Have you ever thought of building a magnetic snake?"

Croix's eyes widen, the seductive smirk breaks into a childish wide grin as she kisses her passionately but quickly. "I love you so much by the way." She sings in relief before she rushes up from her seat and pulls a chair to her desk. From the ground, Chariot smiles as excited laughter and the world of passion in her eyes as the pencil is away from Croix's ear and onto paper where it should belong.

 _Yes I knew you once…._

The time flips around and skips a few years. Croix was screaming at her, inaudible words that still stung close to her heart. Chariot couldn't look at her eyes. The eyes that told her more about Croix was feeling than the angry words she spilled to the air. She would read them and see the longing, the pleas, the cries to stay with her. She wouldn't see the anger, the resentment nor the bitter tears Croix tries to show.

Chariot would just see a girl she fell in love with all those years ago, a girl who gets lost in the forest at night, girl who doesn't talk but rambles when she given the chance about her blocks and the magnetic energy. She sees a girl who she knows better than she knows herself. A girl who saw her at her best and her worst and now a girl whose dreams conflict with the makings of her own.

"Please Chariot… the world doesn't need you to make it happy, they'll mock you and scorn you and they will hurt you if you do this." Croix begs, the angry tears stream into sadness and Chariot makes the mistake into looking at those green eyes one more time.

"I need you Chariot Du Nord, please stay with me."

Chariot looks away, pressing her white hat down not to cover the embarrassment but to hide the tears pricking her own eyes. "I need to do this Croix…" she whispers though her torn heart. Half of it screams at her to deny it all and say she was lying whilst the other tells her to walk and follow her dream. "I'm sorry…"

Like that the grip on her hands fall altogether and Chariot turns, then walks. Fragments of her heart leave a bitter trail as the grip on Shiny Rod tightens. The rain starts to fall and for once she's happy for it, something to hide the waterfalls on her face. She had to do this, she was chosen to do this. Saving the world for the price of one's life was always the right option yet something tells her she made the biggest mistake in the world.

 _…And it was nice._


End file.
